boringcompany.com as our browser saw it on 4 Nov 2026 — boringcompany.com, roasted on 4 Nov 2026.

Scorched

Raised $3B, and none of it went on a button.

What we saw: homepage of a tunnel-building company for underground transport

Three things we noticed

'$3B SERIES ☐': three billion dollars raised, and the font couldn't afford the last letter.
top announcement banner
The mission is small grey type at the foot of a dark photo, like a tunnel with the lights off.
mission line over photo
'Prufrock' leads the menu and there's no button, so newcomers have to guess which word digs.
menu links, no button

The one fix

Turn the mission line into a large headline, 'We dig tunnels that take cars under traffic', and put one button under it that says 'See how Loop works'.

The full roast

The 5-second test

I think it's a company that watches tunnel cameras from a dark control room, maybe for cities, maybe for traffic? There's a line about solving traffic, but it's tiny. I'd click... 'LOOP', I guess, because it's the only word that sounds like a product. Or the $3B thing at the top.

What I think you sell: Tunnels, or tunnel-based transport, somehow
Who I think it's for: Cities, investors and job seekers, all at once

Headline and value

4/10

The best sentence on the page is dressed as a caption.

The only statement of what you do is 'THE MISSION: SOLVE TRAFFIC, ENABLE RAPID POINT-TO-POINT TRANSPORTATION AND TRANSFORM CITIES', set in small all-caps type near the bottom of the photo. It lists three big goals and never says how: no tunnels, no Loop, nothing a stranger can picture. 'Transform cities' is a phrase every transport company, developer and city planner already uses. The word 'tunnel' appears only in the menu.

Quick win: Make the mission line the big headline and say the how: 'We dig tunnels that take cars under traffic.'

Call to action

2/10

There is no main button. The 'X' on the top bar is the most clickable-looking thing here.

The first screen has no button at all. The menu offers 'PRUFROCK', 'LOOP', 'TUNNELS' and 'CAREERS' with equal weight, so a city official, a curious rider and a job seeker all have to guess. The announcement '$3B SERIES' link at the top is the closest thing to an invitation, and it points at your funding, not your product. A visitor who wants to know what Loop is has to decide that on their own.

Quick win: Put one bright button directly under the headline that says 'See how Loop works'.

Look and layout

5/10

A moody, well-shot photo that looks like a security office on the night shift.

The control room image is good, and the walls of tunnel camera feeds hint at real work underground. It is darkened so heavily that the people and screens blur together, and the eye lands on the bright monitors, not on anything that explains you. The mission line is small and pale, and the bottom third of the screen is empty dark space. You built a giant tunnel and are showing the room where people watch it on screens.

Quick win: Raise the headline to large, bright type over a darker band, and fill the empty bottom third with the button and a short supporting line.

Trust and proof

5/10

$3B of proof, parked in the smallest text on the page.

'ANNOUNCING OUR $3B SERIES' is serious evidence that someone believes in you, but it sits in a thin top bar that people close on reflex. The control room photo suggests real operations, and the '97.1%' on a monitor reads like a live system. There is no finished tunnel, city name, rider count or partner on the first screen. Those may exist further down, but I can't see them from here.

Quick win: Move the funding line next to the headline as a small proof line, and add the name of any city where your tunnels already run.

Copy

4/10

Twelve words of mission and four words of menu, and only one of them is 'tunnels'.

Every word on the page is in all-caps typewriter type, which reads like a technical label rather than a pitch and is slow to scan. 'PRUFROCK' means nothing to a stranger. It could be your machine, a poem or a law firm. 'Point-to-point transportation' is planning-office language when the page could just say 'from A to B without stopping'. The name 'The Boring Company' is a good joke, and the copy plays it a little too straight.

Quick win: Switch the headline and supporting line to normal sentence case, and add a few plain words to the menu, like 'Prufrock: our tunnel machine'.

Top fixes, in order

Turn the mission into a headline with a button
Why: The only line saying what you do is small, all caps and buried near the bottom of a dark photo, and there's no button anywhere, so a stranger sees a control room and leaves.
How: Replace the mission line with a large headline, 'We dig tunnels that take cars under traffic.' Keep the mission as a smaller line below it, and add one bright button underneath: 'See how Loop works'.
Explain the menu words
Why: 'PRUFROCK' and 'LOOP' are names only insiders know, and they sit with equal weight next to 'TUNNELS' and 'CAREERS', so nobody knows which one is the product.
How: Add a short label to each, at least on hover or in a dropdown: 'Prufrock: the machine that digs', 'Loop: the ride through the tunnels'. Or rename them 'Our machine', 'Ride Loop', 'Tunnels', 'Careers'.
Bring the $3B down where people read
Why: Your strongest proof sits in a thin top bar with a close button, which visitors dismiss without reading.
How: Under the button, add one small proof line: 'Backed by our $3B raise.' If a tunnel is already running, name the city right next to it: 'Running today in [city].'
Show the tunnel, not just the room watching it
Why: The photo is dark and full of monitors, so it reads like a security office. The actual product, a tunnel with a vehicle in it, is only a blur on the screens.
How: Swap to a bright shot inside a finished tunnel, or keep the control room but lighten it and add a caption like 'Watching our tunnel machine dig, live.'
Give each visitor their own door
Why: Cities, riders, investors and job seekers all land here with the same single sentence and no next step for any of them.
How: Below the main button, add one quiet row of text links: 'For cities: bring Loop to your city', 'Ride Loop', 'Join the team'. Keep only 'See how Loop works' as the bright button.

Rewrites to steal

Headlines

We dig tunnels so your city can skip traffic

outcome first

Traffic is up there. We go under it.

pain first

Tunnels and Loop: point-to-point travel under your city

plain and literal

Subheadlines

Prufrock digs the tunnels. Loop takes you through them, from A to B without stopping.

how it works

Backed by our $3B raise, built for cities that are done waiting in traffic.

proof first

Rapid point-to-point transportation underground, so cities can grow without another lane on the surface.

for city leaders

Button text

See how Loop works

curiosity, low commitment

Bring Loop to your city

buyer focused

Watch Prufrock dig

show the machine